


Growth Through Trial of Change

by stellarstatelogic



Series: Forerunner Chronicles: Focuslight Revelation [6]
Category: Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Acceptance, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Gen, POV First Person, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 12:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6753595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarstatelogic/pseuds/stellarstatelogic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of a young Builder who has lost her name by embracing what she was, and the Lifeshaper who has reborn her anew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Growth Through Trial of Change

 

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* * *

 

There was the sunlight -- soft, soothingly woven between the veils of breeze. There was an appointment made for the [proving], the initial facing of youths before they could be processed through a series of evaluation over the eligibility for Enrollment of their desired or destined institutes. Per my respective knowledge, the Advisor of my rate has encountered a dilemma during such procedure, and I was asked to act in their place. It was not an uncommon task, for I was already Lifeshaper at the time, and I heeded the request knowing it would be the only way to ease off potential resurgences should there be any that may surface.

My ancillae have informed me of the certain individual and have arranged a date and time for the eventual [proving]. We would meet in the Library within the Conservatory of Hiadorh, where its double sun rise from the West and its seasons change in reverse from all of its planetary sisters. I sat in the circular cove surrounded by the comfort of knowledge as the applicant approached at her appointed time. Her six-digit hands clutched by her chest in gentle firmness, with face bare and dark in pigment and manes woven in tight knots and adorned with shards of stars; her steps meek but determined of feminine bravery as she treaded into my realm. The stiffened sway she posed as she walked; I watched her and recognized, the pride signature to the rate of Builders lived strong within her.

"Sit," I gestured, and the adolescent nodded. I saw how she tried to moisten her drying lips by biting its lower curve inwardly.

"Does it weary you, youngling? Of this appointment?"

Her blue eyes lit up to meet mine at an instant in response to my inquiry, but promptly delved off once again as her meekness has gotten the better of her stance. It has however failed to diminish her outspokenness. "I felt myself being a burden, Lifeshaper, I hope this does not offend you."

"Aya."

"Apologies, Lifeshaper."

"Speechlessness can be a virtue when thoughts become overwhelming." I attempted to soothe the distraught First-form; "You aren't an obsolete. Only those who perceive this world through singularity would see you as an anomaly. You should not burden yourself by their views. Your life I have read from, you wish to become a Lifeworker?"

"Yes, Lifeshaper." She nodded, and then shook her head once again; "But I failed to see the reason to your intervention. I -- am matured into a Builder, First-rate, yet too old and unaccomplished compared to others. I believe it's my own fault."

I listened to her words as they were spoken from within her form; the tips of her nails pricked into the soft of her skin, restraining the guilt and pain that have nevertheless slipped into the air woven into her sophistically calm voice.

"Maybe I should be disposed. I let myself be undesirable when I only wanted to honor my family and find harmony between its legacy and my own desire... But my instincts... the animals and plants I have come across with whispered to me louder than the constructs and metals... My mother realized there were more potteries and specimen in my foundry and even more notes made for living things than for my familial projects. I confided; there was an argument. I voiced my desire knowing it was already too late;" she shook her head once again, this time in despair; "I've brought this end to myself. I've orphaned myself."

It was then I stood up and walked over the circular seats and made myself physically closer to the young one. My hand reached towards her chin to guide her face towards mine. I saw the watery haze lingered on the surface of her glassy, sharp eyes. The youth did not turn away, perhaps out of astonishment. Her breath taken became slower as my other hand covered hers as I guided her clutched fists into opened palms and settled them onto her thighs.

"Nonsense;" I reprimanded.

"But what should I do?" She tilted her head towards my fitting palm briefly to let out an inaudible whimper.

"Find a way to sustain. The Trial of the Living Time ensures all of us an equal stand to prove our rightful existence."

"But I have no family. None would want me. I have disgraced my Rate as a whole, and -- not all Builders are in good company with other Rates. Not my family."

"Regardless, your struggle has made yourself noticeable." I ran my hand across her forehead and brushed over her neural interface crystal -- a gesture to cut her thoughts and beckon for calmness to grace upon such distraught soul. "I have taken time to read through your notes. The enthusiasm you've had was approving. Your words showed intricate passion over life -- yet from the perspective of yourself as one from the Builders, and I enjoyed it."

Her face flushed. "Apologies." She turned her face towards the side and refused to meet mine. I felt her hands clutched beneath my covering hand once again. "They were things made for pastime. For solace. Leisure."

"Quite deliberate for leisure," I intended to deliver my tone in a rather encouragingly bright fashion; "Enough to baffle the Lifeworkers serve under the Lifeshaper; enough to lure the Lifeshaper herself into reading it."

Her face flushed even more.

"Aya, the Builders have convinced themselves unable to make use of you. But if you would like to, and withstand the trials, the Lifeworkers may find you an adequate addition. Your trial has begun even before you have taken the squall into daylight. The rhetoric you have made record are a proof to your instinct and devotion."

She nodded, in temporal acceptance. I would let time convince herself that would find comfort in her worth. I felt the surge of pity towards one so young yet so resilient; her heart has been her sole guidance for far too long.

"What was your name, youngling?"

"Nameless;" she replied quietly. "They've taken my name. It failed to fit the purpose and visions my family has had for me..." I could hear her voice beginning to tremble; "My mother has never cried, never shed a tear. She cried that day. I knew she has named me by what she has seen in her premonition; I think I have failed her. She fears for failing the legacy of my family. I fear for her. I am not a good daughter."

For a long moment, I gave silent to her confession. She asked for penance and reconciliation which I knew I cannot give. The young Builder sobbed as I gently rubbed the back of her hands with my own thumbs.

"This pain is part of your trial to endure, Nameless one. I too have a daughter just like you, who has found her [raison d'etre] within the Warrior-Servants. I hope for the best for her as I would sympathize with your mother's situation. I can only imagine that the culture of Builders may be more lenient on her, for her love for you. That is alas, also a trial she would have to endure."

"Apologies." This was the third time she would have said so, and the heaviest of them all.

"This is Life, youngling;" I smiled, and her eyes widened. "It is within the changes that growth has been allowed -- of forms, rates, stances, situations. Change is within the essence of evolution when the controlled environment could only strive for so much. May you find abundance in your stewardship; with what you have gone through thus far, the Living Time seems to have a greater purpose intended for you."

"Lifeshaper."

"The Conservatory of Hiadorh where we are now is rather in need for renovation;" I nodded. "Its Keeper is in need of someone like you. One who can approach the issues from perspectives outside a Lifeworker's and at the same time acknowledges its subtlety. If you would like to, this Conservatory and all that encompasses may be your family."

"But what should they call me?"

"Growth-Through-Trial-of-Change." My voice echoed within and without; "If you would like to."

"Trial;" she repeated and contemplated for a moment before nodding once again. Her hands reached outwards to hold back unto mine. I saw her face anewed, like a piece of precious stone unearthed from its veins, promising within its aspirations and still softly firm.

"Trial."


End file.
